Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
