I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
