Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So vagazzling was a success
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
