they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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