im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
