Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I party with great urgency now.
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