You're my little dorito
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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