he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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