Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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