You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
