Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
