Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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