so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
