Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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