Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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