You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
