my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize