I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
