bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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