she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
