Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
PANTIES FOUND
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