he fucked my hip out of place.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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