Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
