Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
