this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
