What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
