Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize