dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
