Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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