even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
