Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
