A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
