you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
