fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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