If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
well you can't waste a boner
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
