If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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