Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
is it fun? or sober?
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