She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
