now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
