I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Floor bacon is actually really good
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
