shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
