how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
