I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
