So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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