in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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