i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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