fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
