so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
