yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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