I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
