they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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