i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
