Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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