video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
