I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
