Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize