Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
