I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
