I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
only if we run a train.
done.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
