Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
