so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
