called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
