I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
